I hate November 2008!

5 weeks and 4 days. Tuesday night, I noticed a little brownish on the tp after I peed. I got a little worried but it was very very little. Next morning a little more. I figured it was not a big deal but figured I better call the doc.

I went to work and when I got there my doc said I should go get my blood tested.

Joe met me at the hospital. When I got there I went to the bathroom and there was red blood and some tissue.

I got my blood drawn and on our way home the doc had me stop by the office. She did an exam and said it looked like it may be old blood. Asked if we recently had sex. Yes we did. Told me she wasn't sure if I was miscarrying. Go to other office for U/S. my head is spinning but I haven't accepted that anything could really be wrong yet.

U/S woman does U/S. Said she doesn't see a sac, but she will give it to the doc to read. Then I know. I start crying. There's a box of tissues. One left. U/S woman leaves room and then opens door and tosses in a new box. I wanted to hit her with the box. I know it's not her fault, but I really did want to hit her.

Joe tries to hug me, but I just want him to stop. Let's go.

We get in the car. I remember not being able to say anything. I just stared out the window. I could feel the cold from the window on my face.

All I could think was how am I going to tell my friends and family????????????

I felt like I was going to disappoint everyone.

I went home and just camped myself on the couch...and the toilet. I didn't go to work for the rest of the week. I didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. Joe called my mom for me. I txt my sister and friends. I couldn't say it.